liquid light

over the last few months i have been wrestling some demons & attempting to identify, isolate & root out a number of maladaptive & life-sapping mental programmes within me - the process continues.

on this blog i have begun to challenge what i perceive to be a schizoid subset of theology within christendom, that subliminally yet profoundly undermines many peoples beliefs about & experience of the Divine - as well as our perception of our self.

how many of us unconsciously relate to our divine parents like the fearful servant in Christ’s parable. the one that saw the master as intimidating & exacting, buried the treasure out of fear and thus did not create, did not go forth and multiply.

i believe the divine Source - our holy Mother & Father - wants us to move beyond such fear-based belief structures and no longer flirt with entanglement.

there is a rather crude but wise saying that says: “you cannot polish a piece of shit”. certain teachings stick to our soul, like pieces of poop. let us stop polishing them and rather identify, isolate, eliminate & move beyond them. to do so requires that we trust ourselves & our ability to identify truth or lies.

that which goes together, fits together. that which emerges out of the fetid swamp of fear stands inconcruent with love.

so long as we aim to remain true to our call, we will always have those who shout, “heretic! fool! reprobate!”

to them our Self must proclaim : “G-d dances to the beat of my syncopation - and yours too, if u would but find it”.

temples of flesh & soul: let us drum! dance! paint! write! play! ask! doubt! rebel! embrace! serve! imagine! quest!

we are giants held down by the cretins within.

Viva Wakey Wakey!

we’re coming UP UP UP…..

leaving the bosom of our divine father and mother, the sparks descend through realms now forgotten. clothed in garments of skin and bone we emerge baptised through blood, into the light of material existence. this central gnostic myth teaches that the yearning we feel echoes our state of exile, as beings oblivious to the divine within as we seek g-d without. i am currently developing a regular practice of active imagination, which the ancient gnostics - as well as modern one’s such as Jung - used in order to explore the inner realms. the following is one such journey:

in my imagination i come across a stone slab on a forest floor, covered in roots and dirt. with great effort i drag, push & pull until an opening is revealed, large enough for me poke my head through. by the light of the outside world i make out a rough spiral stair, hewn out of rock and descending into black. hungry for the darkness i pull the slab aside further and looking quickly around, slip quietly inside and onto the beckoning step below.

while gently brushing the wall with my right hand for orientation, i descend the spiral for several minutes until finally, i reach bottom. the air feels hot and dry and the ground, soft. i get the urge to take off my shoes in recognition of it’s holiness. at this point i realise that rather than rock or earth, i am standing in warm sand. i look up and immediately notice a flickering light in the distance.

i slowly move towards it and by a subtle luminescence cast by the light, i realise a gigantic overhanging rock overshadows me. very soon i exit the cave and gazing upward, am transfixed by an immense night sky. something about the stars brings a sudden wave of forlornness, of homesickness for somewhere not of this world and long forgotten. however, i am soon roused by the sound of distant drumming and laughter.

….in a desert underground.